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Laughter is Good for the Soul

This one was truly a laugh-out-loud joke. Right now I'm catching up on everyone's last several posts. New post coming soon: Getting my finances straight in the '08! Enjoy...

When everybody on earth was dead & waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared & said, "Men, make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, & the other line for the men who were
dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter."

Soon the women were gone & there were two lines of men.

The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, & in the line of men who truly were heads of their household was only one man.

God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient & have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from
him."

God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."
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Merry Christmas!!

I wish you all a spectacularly blessed Christmas with your loved ones! Remember... Jesus is the reason for the season.

With that said, I'm bout to go watch my favorite Christmas movie ever. TBS knows how to make this girl happy!

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I owe my mother...

This is my mother and many other mothers I know. Enjoy!!
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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
'One day! You’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you
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Bobhadababyitsaboy

LOL do you remember that commercial? No. oh. Well I can't find the commercial online so I guess you'll just have to nod and smile at me.

The random thought I had a few minutes ago made me think to write this post which then made me think that would be a perfect title. What's the topic for today's random and scatter-brained post? BABIES!

Oh how I love their little cute little smuggly fatty cheeks that you just want to kiss but that's not enough so you feel the need to bite em. and talk to them like they aren't humans. and stare at them all day.

Well that's how I feel at least. I was just on facebook looking at a picture of one of my classmates with his baby girl. Why does it seem like everyone is having kids these days. lol, I know that sounds ridiculous but all of a sudden it's all that I notice. My cousin just had a little girl, my pastor's son, several people I go to school with, and there was a very pregnant girl in my life science class this semester. By the way, I love to see pregnant women. They are the most beautiful people EVER (well most, but that's another post that I'll never write).

I don't know why little cute squiggly humans get me so excited but I just can't wait to have kids. I don't intend to have any for at least 4 years cuz I want to be financially prepared but once I'm married it's all fair game - I might not be able to hold out any longer. I want like three kids. As if "like" helps my estimate, lol. I don't want one because I don't want an only child, two I could be good with, but three seems like it would be perfect - don't ask me why. I'm a little skeptical about how they are gonna come out this little body (NO, I'm not admitting that I'm little Monsieur N... I'm jus sayin). I think I'll probably have one then say aww HEELLLL naw and seal everything up tight. lol.

No but foreal. One set of twins might be great. Then I can get this whole thing crackin with just two tries. Triplets would be perfect except for that's three times the financial burden (that is, in every positive sense of the word *cough*) for 18+ years. I'll pass on that. What you think?
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Mademoiselle Photographer

Somewhere deep down inside of me has always wanted me to be a photographer. I would love to take classes one day and learn techniques and whatnot but I think that those things will never change whether or not you have an eye or not. I don't think I have the eye. So I overcompensate by watching The Shot and taking way to many pictures of things in my life. I mean, way too many. I bought this laptop I'm typing on last year with 80 gigs of hard drive and by the end of my semester in France it was about to die because it had no more space left. All because I took hundreds of pictures everywhere I went. My travel blog and facebook albums are living proof. I just figured, who knows when I'll ever get to see those things again!? I wanna remember it just as it was.

I like taking random pictures. Sometimes they make me feel creative. Most times they just look foolish. But who cares right?

Anyhow, so it all comes down to this. Here are my shots of the week. Enjoy!

I took this on the way from Church. I haven't seen a rainbow so beautiful since I was a kid! The camera on my LG Chocolate is fantastic, isn't it?

This is my cousin's baby, growing so beautifully! There is nothing better than watching her (1)squirm around peacefully in your arms or (2)yawn.

Monsieur N's profile. I have an obsession with taking pics of him. Maybe it's cuz I think he's cute. NAH! :)

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LOVE this commercial!

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What's Good

Hello fabulous people. What's up with you? Oh great. Well my life is grand. I'm done with my Fall semester. That means my classes are finished. and no more homework. OH! And no more exams! Did I tell you that? I did, didn't I... Seven semesters down, one left to go.

Well after my exam yesterday, I did my best to immediately crash. Only my crashing time was limited because I had to go see another professor to get my Life Sciences grade. That class was a waste of my life, and I didn't even get an A. That's due to my easy class = bad grade syndrome. Argh. So after that I came to my room to crash, only I couldn't fall right to sleep. So I decided to catch up on my television shows I missed. I watched this week's episode of Top Model then I watched the latest episode of Samantha Who, my new show-crush. Yes, show-crush, meaning that it's the new show I can't get enough of. Samantha kills me everytime! She has recently woken up from a coma or something and can't remember anything about her life before. In this episode she lost her "virginity" and immediately thought she was in love with the guy. She even asked for a drawer in the guys room and they were only dating for two weeks. Oh my lol. Have you seen the show!?

Oh, Did I mention that she is pretty fly? Yea, she is.

After my post-Samantha nap, I woke up to get ready to go to church to help out with our youth ministry's Christmas show. It's so cool. The kids are doing a play, all acted out as mimes. The theme is spreading the joy of Christ.

Anywho. So today, guess what time I woke up? I asked my parents this question this evening and they guessed 12pm. I told them 3pm and they nearly died. "Kids these days." My dad then tells me how he never wakes up later than 7 or 8am. But that's typical of old people. That's what I told him too. He's the most adorable old man I know.

Then Monsieur N and I quickly headed out to a concert. We both volunteer at a non-profit called the Cultural Academy for Excellence. I will tell you more about it another time (cuz it's a fantastic program). But anyway, these kids play the steel drums in an orchestra and they are excellent. So that was great. Click here to hear how they sound!

Afterwards, Monsieur N and I headed back to campus. I wanted to hit up a happy hour but my head was killing me (as usual) and meds don't go with alcohol. So now I'm watching Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead. Not my initial choice of a movie but when we saw my favorite Samantha Who star then we just had to check the movie out. I guess I'll have to do happy hour later this week.

Isn't my exam-free life spectacular? I don't think the end of any semester has ever felt this great in my life. Whoo-hoooooo

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...

I'm DONE.

Thank you Jesus.
Now excuse me while I go sleep the next four days away.
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The Sun Will Come Out TOMORROW!

Okay, okay. You’ve caught me. I’m really gonna do my work after this post. Why is it that all these great post ideas come to mind when I need to be doing loads of work? Argh. Just one more day. Just one more day. Just one more day Mademoiselle. Then you can write all the posts you want, read all the books you want, and watch all the TV you want.

Discipline is hard… unless it includes a belt but those days are gone- for the most part lol. You know mommas always hold the right to tear it up if you act out. It’s just something they will never let you think they’ve lost control of.

Anywhoo, pray for me peoples. 10am tomorrow. And I’m so over this Fall 2007 school semester. Psshh.
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I've Been Elfed!

Yay. LOL. But did she really have to use the worst picture possible from Facebook!? Click here to see the video...

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Time to Read

Yay! One more exam left! Yay!

Even though I should be studying for it (because it is a huge comprehensive exam on the last three semesters of my International Business courses) I am getting my self super duper pumped about having free time to read all the books I want to over break. What's a girl to do!?

I've only read one book this semester - this makes me sad inside - and that is Alek Wek's book From Sudanese Refugee to International Supermodel. It was our first Teacakes Bookclub selection for this school year (and my first as a Teacakes member) and it was great! Shoutout to Mademoiselle Narcist who made it down to HU to grace us with her presence. Yay!

First and foremost, I am grateful to my friend Mademoiselle K from California cuz she bought me one of my christmas wishlist products, Forty Million Dollar Slaves. And she doesn't even read this blog! How did she know you ask? Well it's our next bookclub selection! We are meeting January 13th so if you are interested, come out and join us! Just hit me up for more details.

So other than Forty Million Dollar Slaves, I can't wait to dig into some of these books I bought recently (clockwise: Being a Black Man, Pride, Quitting America, What Looks Like Crazy, The Covenant with Black America, and Girl, Get Your Money Straight)

Lastly, I have a couple new books to add to my wishlist. The Cocktail Bible will make the perfect addition in my quest to become a cocktail guru. I've also been reading Oprah's book Living Your Best Life which is a compilation of articles from O Magazine. Now I want her new one, O's Guide to Life. I think I'll be complete if I have that. Actually, I really woulda been complete if I had been in Macon, Georgia for her Favorite Things episode. But that's over and done with. So I'll stick with the book for now.
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Music Video of the Week

I love this song - I'm so feelin the lyrics. Matter fact, her whole CD is off the hook. Like Kanye says, me likey.

No One:
Alicia Keys
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Laughter is Good for the Soul

I got this in an email. It's specifially for you ladies!
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ISN'T THIS THE TRUTH ??????
You may need to stop at the women's restroom . . . be prepared!

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."

In this position your toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail .

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!
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The Real World (Uncut) Pt. 2

It's official. Your girl is employed post-graduation!

As of last Friday I accepted an offer with a consulting firm here in DC! I did my negotiation thing on Wed. and they called back on Friday to tell me I could get what I wanted. I may have been able to get more but I was satisfied with the original offer so I joyfully accepted with the increase. I guess putting some bass in my voice was the trick jameil. lol.

So now what? First I gotta finish this semester (2 papers and 2 finals left). Then I'm going to sit back and relax, STRESS FREE until the next semester starts! Yay!

Today I'm going downtown to the office to meet some people and hang out a bit with the employees. I wasnt able to attend an event they had planned for students who received offers so they've recreated a similar thing for me today. Yea, they love me :) I'm excited because everyone that I've met from the firm is really cool and down-to-earth. I guess I'll find out today if they represent the people outside of recruiting lol.

Have a great Friday people!

P.S. Watch this video, LOL. My mommy is the second person in the line-up (her coworker made it).

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My Randomnocity

I'm random. I think we've already established that. So here are a few random things about me:

I was that kid who told you there is no such thing as Santa.
And what. Sorry that I had to ruin your childhood and quite possibly created much frustration and confusion in your household. But it's not my fault my mother made it a point to not only let me know that we have no chimney but also that she has worked to hard for me to think some fat white man brings those gifts through imaginary parts of the house.

I was also that kid who told you that you were stupid for believing in the tooth fairy.
I really didn't mean it to be evil ya'll. I just couldn't understand how anybody's intelligence - or even the minute bit of logic they had in their little 7 year old brains - would allow them to believe a lady in pink with wings (as adorable as that still sounds to me) would fly in and put money under the pillow even though you know you were waiting up all night for her. Sorry.

I can't wait to have kids, and I will let them believe in the tooth fairy.
Although my parents did squash the Santa fantasies before I even had a chance to wish they hadn't, they never told me much about the tooth fairy. On the other hand, they never led me on. I will let my kids have as big of an imagination as they want but if they ever ask me, then I think I might have to tell them the truth. Hit me up in several years and I'll let you know if my feelings have changed.

I got an orange flash drive last weekend.
Well that's obviously not that random. The thing is that I named my flash drive "DISTURBED." Whoever can guess why before they read the next sentence wins my heart forever... No? Okay. Elle Woods in Legally Blonde - which by the way is my all time favorite movie - infamously stated that "whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed." Need I say more? Oh how I love Elle.

So now it's your turn. You have to do two things... 1) drop me some randomness in the comment box. Hey, this aint no one way street people. 2) don't make fun of me or anyone else living in randomnessocity.
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My Christmas Wishlist

Growing up this wasn't something I did. I'm not sure why, but it was just something my parents didn't expect and/or want from me. When asked what I wanted by my parents and sisters I usually just told them. For other people, my parents were real finicky with whom I made special requests. The ideas was to be greatful for anything I got. Which worked.

But I'm beyond the "schoolin" age. I am an appreciative person. So now it should be alright for me to tell everyone what I want. We all know the fantasy of Christmas gifts really ends at 12 year old(ish). But a girl can't stop from dreamin that somebody will be more than willing to buy her a few of the things she wants, right?

Books
We all know I love to read. Here are the special requests: (oh, and I prefer hardback if u were wondering *wink*wink*)

(remember, it's always cheaper to buy the books online, i.e Half.com or Amazon.com)

Movies
My lovely cousin bought me Hairspray over the Thanksgiving break "just because" - which was fantastic. So I'm one down on my movie list. The one left may come as a surprise to many but if you have any idea how much I loved this movie growing up, then you would understand:


FYI: It has been digitally restored. Now out for a "limited time only."

Magazine Subscriptions
I'm already a subscriber to a few fashion magazines but aside from reading the newspaper, I wouldn't mind more substance in my life. I started reading the Economist over the summer. It is too expensive to buy individually every week so I would take my VP's before he threw it away. But now I want my own subcription and it is expensive. So maybe somebody loves me. I am also interested in Black Enterprise but it's not as strong of a want as the Economist because I could afford to subscribe on my own if nobody felt like hooking me up.

Random
I love making smoothies but Monsieur N's blender has retired. I now have a bag full of frozen strawberries and no smoothies in my belly. I also want to start working on my mixed drink game at some point and this would be a start. I think that this should be remedied. I notified my mommy and she's on it already but I'm putting it here for reminding purposes (I'm emailing this post to the fam lol). The other things go along with my mixed drink game plan. It's not a neccesity yet, but the sooner the better.

(glasses x 4)

I also love gift cards. Stores like Target, Nine West, Ann Taylor (to buy business suits), Loehmanns, Starbucks, and Victoria Secret all make me a happy happy girl.

So now, for those of you considering my wishes at this point: Go forth and shop! And for those of you who don't know me, you have one of two choices: (1) Send the gift to my P.O. Box- which I don't have yet but I can get one you know ;-) or (2) just spill what you really want for Christmas in my comment box.

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More About Me Mondays

Here is an easy post for me so feel free to call me a cheat. I took a quick personality test at Typefocus. It is like a shortened version of Myers Briggs, which I took over two years ago. The results are pretty much the same as I can recall so I guess I haven't changed much.

Here is a brief overview of moi:

INTP

Common Qualities of Introverts: Attracted to in-depth analysis; Like to think, sometimes without talking; Like to understand; Keyword: Inner-directed

Common Qualities of Intuitives: Notice the whole picture; Theoretical - interested in WHY things work; Creative - like to experiment; Keyword: Imaginative

Common Qualities of Thinkers: Appreciate analysis; Quick to give advice; Fair and just - same rules for all; Keyword: Logical

Common Qualities of Perceptives: Are comfortable with "winging it"; Like to have an open-ended approach; Postpone decisions - sometimes procrastinate; Keyword: Flexible

General Description: INTPs love to solve problems and the bigger and more theoretical the problems, the more they enjoy it. INTPs want to understand their world in an honest way, so they challenge existing expert opinion until they have satisfied themselves that it is true. Some occasionally mistake this intellectual honesty for rebellion because INTPs are not shy about challenging some of society's accepted rules. INTPs hold intelligence in high esteem and will usually do well in school. INTPs make quiet friends who value their independence.

Career Insights: INTPs are good at complex analysis where creative solutions are needed. Complex analyses can be found in either pure science or in applied science. In practical applications, they concentrate on the problem and use their analytical skills until they've solved the problem. Problems for the INTP, especially those having a theoretical basis such as cancer research, are seen as puzzles waiting to be solved. INTPs do their best work when they have the freedom to independently follow their hunches; they are frustrated by a lot of rules and regulations. Careers which have appealed to INTPs include all branches of pure science (physical, life, social), engineering, medicine, computer systems and law.


I agree whole-heartedly with my characteristics listed at the top. There was one thing that got me. When I read "sometimes procrastinate," I almost died laughing. Well if that isn't the understatement of a lifetime. But I'm working on it ya'll. Oh and the introvert quality was one that surprised me the time I took the real test, but like I've explained before, introverts aren't always anti-social. We just need a lot more "me" time.

Anywhoo, did any of this come as a surprise to you? I know you don't know me know me. But you do know me, you know?
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