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More About Me Mondays

I think this is what people refer to when they talk about a quarter-life crisis: the state of being unsure about who you are, what you hold dear, how to achieve your dreams, and what you really want out of life. And I use the word "unsure" very broadly because it can range from being slightly unsure to being on the verge of an anxiety attack - depending on the person.

I was thinking about this today and I suddenly had the urge to Google the phrase (what's new, Google completes my life). Below is the list of characteristics on Wikipedia. I've highlighted those which apply to me right now as we speak.
  • feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level
  • frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
  • confusion of identity
  • insecurity regarding the near future
  • insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals
  • insecurity regarding present accomplishments
  • re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
  • disappointment with one's job
  • nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
  • tendency to hold stronger opinions - I've always been opinionated so this doesn't apply
  • boredom with social interactions
  • loss of closeness to high school and college friends
  • financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.) - for me, I am buying a car after graduation and I want to purchase a home within a year
  • loneliness
  • desire to have children
  • a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
I am at a point in my life where my short-term reality is pretty much as clear-cut as clear-cut can get in life: graduate in May, buy a car, start work in July, remain active in my church with our planned programs, save up to buy a home by '09, etc. But it's the bigger picture that always starts creeping up on me and freaking me out. I have so many goals in life that I get scared that they aren't all going to work out.

When will I live abroad? Will I ever work abroad? Will I ever become fluent in French and Spanish? When will I have cute little babies? Will I get to stay home with them as long as I want to (about a year)? What kind of graduate degree will I get? When the heck will I have time to get a graduate degree? When will I open my non-profit? Will I ever gain the wealth I hope to gain in my lifetime? ...and the list goes on. and on. and on.

Every once in a while I have to remind myself that I have to take life one step at a time b/c there is only so much planning you can do.

I was talking to my homie today and we were talking about how school is not life and how she recognized several years ago. I, on the other hand, have just realized that b/c in my family education=life=education and there were no other interpretations. She told me that she came up with her own 10 commandments (i.e. #1 Thou shall prioritize). That has allowed her to keep things in perspective.

I've decided that creating my own commandments will be my first step to getting through this period of my life. I'll let you know when I've completed it. For now, I would like to share this Maya Angelou poem with you. I read it for the first time today. I love it and will be taping it to my wall tonight.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a youth she’s content to leave behind….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to
retelling it in her old age….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to fall in love without losing herself.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but its over…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust,
whom she can’t,
and why she shouldn’t take it personally…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go…
be it to her best friend’s kitchen table…
or a charming inn in the woods…
when her soul needs soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…
a month…and a year…

-Maya Angelou

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Did you know?

www.myfico.com

Get your financial life on track this year people! Be sure to get your free credit reports at AnnualCreditReport.com. No, there is no trick or hidden costs. You have the right to view your report for free each year. Educate yourself and get/keep your credit in check.

Websites to definitely bookmark:
I'm very passionate about financial literacy. So please, take this information, learn, and share with those around you.

Thanks
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I'm Taking a Stand

This year started off on a strange note for me. I began experiencing strange feelings that I had never previously experienced to such an extreme degree.
  • Extreme sense of downtime entitlement
  • Severe lethargy
  • Chronic lack of focus (beyond the usual AOADD - adult onset attention deficit disorder)
  • Ambivalent and apathetic attitude toward academic affairs
  • Significantly lower level of self-motivation
I was really in some need of help so I Googled the following: WebMD and Senioritis. I was distraught when it did not yield a WebMD website. Are they serious? Hmph. A sister was really in need of some advice and some quick-fix type remedy. Nonetheless, I did find that somebody out there is very sympathetic to my situation. The author of this article even understood my feelings regarding my Google search, equating WebMD's lack of recognition of Senioritis as a real disorder to the belief that the world was flat at one point in time.

I never honestly believed that I would succumb to such an awful disorder. I barely experienced this infamous Senioritis in high school upon acceptance to a university yet I have slowly slipped deeper and deeper into this quicksand trap since I signed my offer letter in December.

So what's a girl to do? It's so bad that I was in the process of failing a finance exam that I wasn't quite prepared for last Thursday (YES ON VALENTINE'S DAY!) and laughing the whole way through. The unbelievable part? I'm not freakin out about it. How weird.

Well today is the day that I take a stand. No longer will I allow this disorder to run my semester. Nope. It stops right here.

I'm off to the library to try to get back on track. Senioritis does not define me.

..insert standing ovation...
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So Shoot Me

I already know. I'm a slacker. So shoot me already! I've been interested in posting for weeks. But I haven't. And for no reason. No, actually my passion for blogging has been pushed back a little since I've been reading a lot more. I don't usually read for leisure during the school semester because of all the work but since I haven't been doing any work, I've been using all my time to read and watch TV. Little room for blogging if you add in all the other nonsense (aka school work) that I actually have to do from time to time.

So I'm going to break it to you like this. Let's agree that I'll post once a week. More than that will be a treat but let's keep the expectations low for the next several weeks. I know. Low expectations are not a part of my DNA but work with me here. I'm under-promising so that I can over-deliver. Okay? Thanks.

Tomorrow is Valentines Day and I've got a surprise for Monsieur N up my sleeve!!! Tell you bout it later.

xoxo
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Music Video of the Year!



I'm officially declaring my love for Obama with the help of this video!
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